"Merry Christmas"

Merry Christmas, with this appropriately-titled story from 1961's Donald Duck Merry Christmas! Although, again, this is, like the last one, really more just the name of the book it appeared in than the title of the story per se. Who cares! Because, yes, a real Christmas miracle, behold: a genuinely good story! Seriously! The sort of thing you hope to find when reading these old Western things but rarely do.  I mean, no, not perfect, perhaps not likely to change your life, but one about which I can say that, with very few qualifications, I like it. It's well-written and executed and it very much deserves to be reprinted. So there! I have the feeling that, as so often with stories that I actually like, I'll have less to say about this than some others. But that's okay, hopefully! Silence is golden.  Well, obviously not "silence," as such.  But...oh, come ON.  Let's just GO.

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"Christmas Parade"

You know, I just realized that I'm writing more Christmas entries here (thirteen, not counting the intro post) than I have other entries period for the whole rest of the year (eleven, not counting a hit-and-run anti-IDW post). I should up my output, probably--though I suppose, all things considered, an average of one a month isn't that bad.

But never mind that, because now, Duck Comics Revue is proud to bring you: a basically pretty okay story! Turns out Western's non-Barkses were capable of producing these on occasion! Yes, I know, that Barks story kind of wrecked the curve, but pretend that never happened and appreciate it for what it is! It's called, kind of, "Christmas Parade," apparently, but I don't think that really applies to the story in any particular way. It's more a thing they would sometimes do when the title of the Giant would double as the title for the first story, even when it's not all that apropos (there are zero parades here, Christmas or otherwise). We'll see that done again next time. This was published in 1962, in the first Gold Key issue of CP; it's also the last original marquee story that the series would feature. After this it would be Barks covers along with a few lesser reprints--including, in the last issue, in 1971, "The Big Switcheroo." Dammit, Western, it really wasn't enough to drive one generation of comic-loving kids the brink of madness? Impossible to imagine why it was the last issue. Anyway.

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"Grandma's Present"

"Hey! You got your Barks in my non-Barks Christmas!" Well...yes. It's true. I came upon this in a Christmas Parade and realized, WHOA, Barks Christmas story I haven't done, and it kind of seemed unavoidable, especially when I realized I'd miscounted and had an extra day open in the schedule. Anyway, this is really your fault: when I was doing the last of Barks' holiday output last year, I specifically asked you people to point out any I'd missed, but did any of you point to this one? Like fun you did! Therefore, you must suffer, by reading about a good story.

Well, maybe that's needlessly jaundiced. But I've been reading a lot of these non-Barks things and thinking about the things about them that work and (more often) don't work, and sticking a Barks story in the middle of that really underlines what we does right that other people don't. So, let's check it out!

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"Santa's Unexpected Visit"

And now, another eight-pager, also from CP7. You more than likely know this one, at least if you're American, as it's been reprinted TWICE in modern times: first by Gladstone in 1988 in their first Christmas Parade, and then by Disney in 1990 in their first Holiday Parade (WAR ON CHRISTMAS ARGLEBARLE). It's not too bad for what it is, but printing it twice in three years still feels like significant overkill. Disney was kinda bumbling around for a while during their tenure as publisher. They probably weren't even aware the story had just been reprinted.

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"Curious Kids"

...but what sorts of stories do you find in these Christmas Parades once you've ventured past the openers? you wonder. Well...pretty much what you'd expect, really: some MM stuff, a bit of Bucky Bug, Chip'n'Dale, Li'l Bad Wolf...not really very interesting. Some Grandma and Gus stories with those detestable mice, which...yeah. But occasionally you also get some additional non-farm-oriented duck stories! Which typically aren't very interesting either. Nevertheless, we will look at a few of them, starting with this guy from 1955.

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"Donald's Trick-Type Trip"

Good lord, THAT TITLE. Could anything be more opaque and impossible to pronounce (okay, I guess it could be called "Xjsqyjjjqq;" that would be harder)? I keep feeling like it should be some sort of pun involving the word "triptych," even as that seems somewhat too highbrow for a story like this (plus, it would have no relevance to anything) and it's just a completely ridiculous train wreck in my mouth (the worst place for a train wreck). Inducks has it that the story is by Carl Fallberg, and I suppose I must defer to their knowledge (though really, I have no idea where said alleged knowledge comes from), but the title sure screams Lockman to me. Woosh. Anyway, this one is from 1960, and it appeared in a book called Walt Disney's Merry Christmas, and yeah, I have NO idea why they decided to release these in lieu of Christmas Parades for two years.

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"Reindeer Roundup"

Not to be confused with this thing, from CP 4:

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"Dinner at Grandma's"

And now, this, from 1955's CP 7.  You know, the thing is, I actually wrote this entry as well as the next few before doing those damn Connell stories, and now that I've done them, I'm actually feeling significantly more charitable about these.  Not that I think my criticisms don't hold, but CRIKEY, sure, they were written by people wanting paychecks with no thought of l'art pour l'art, but they at least make an effort, sort of, and the characters, as dumb as they can be, don't generally seem like bizarre space aliens.  They're more or less earning that paycheck.  So good job, Lockman et al!  Please read this entry in that spirit.

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Christmas One-Page Silliness

And now, a Post-Connell Palate-Cleanser. Just for kicks, let's look at some one-page things found in Christmas Parades. Why not? Why not indeed?

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"Uncle Scrooge's Generous Deed"

Well, now it's time for another Connell story, from CP 4 in 1952. Please try to restrain your excitement.

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"Presents for All"

MORE CONNELL?!? Jesus, MUST we? Yes, we must. Ours is not to wonder why; ours is but to do and write about stories by awful hacks. Or so it seems. This is from 1951's CP 3, meaning it's the first non-Barks marquee story. The quality drop-off is...noticeable. Although actually, it could be worse; this story would be basically inoffensive except for just one damn thing, that you will see RIGHT NOW:

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"The Big Switcheroo"

CP 6, 1954. You know, I said that that last story was the worst one on the list, but as much as I might not *like* the fake-snow thing, it at least made for a coherent story; it wasn't a madman's dream that no human mind could follow in its inhuman contortions without descending into an endless howling, shrieking void. So it had that going for it.

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"White Christmas"

It's a nice day for a...too obvious? Okay, how about this: Hey Western writer, what have you done?

Well...you've written THIS. "You" apparently being Del Connell and "this" being a 1953 story from CP 5. And this is...an interesting one. Now, I know what you're thinking: "does that mean 'bad?' It sounds like that means 'bad.'" Um...yes. Honestly, I'm starting here so that all the other stories we look at will look better in comparison. So on THAT ominous note, let us begin!

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