"The Big Switcheroo"

CP 6, 1954. You know, I said that that last story was the worst one on the list, but as much as I might not *like* the fake-snow thing, it at least made for a coherent story; it wasn't a madman's dream that no human mind could follow in its inhuman contortions without descending into an endless howling, shrieking void. So it had that going for it.

I actually really like this opening. I mean, it seems like a reasonable thing to do, doesn't it? Reminiscent of a Barks cover gag. You have to wonder, though: surely he still had to buy the...sheet metal?...that makes up the tree's structure, as well as that trunk thing and that star on top. Would you really save that much? Hmmm.

This upsets Donald. What does "get him!" mean? I have been pondering that question for a while without success. Maybe it's a stray speech balloon from another story. There's a potentially kind of interesting thing about age and people being jealous of other people, which isn't really a very common duck theme (though you can think of examples), but could be cool. But, you know, it's Connell, so don't hope for too much.

So what's weird is: Donald's protestation in the top left looks like obvious pious bullshit, doesn't it? The hell you're nothing but altruistic. And yet...the kids completely buy it, and it certainly appears as though the reader is meant to swallow it just as easily.

"Those kids across the tracks" will naturally make you think of "Shacktown," and guess what? THIS STORY IS JUST AS GOOD AS THAT ONE! WHAT A TWIST! No, it's not. Sorry. I should've known I couldn't fool you. It's just that stating the obvious over and over about things like this can get tedious.

But anyway, it's impossible for Unca Donald to become Unca Scrooge, so...I guess we're done here. Next story!

Efforts to get money from Scrooge meet with a predictable end. I do find his reaction there pretty amusing. I'll admit it.

It truly is deplorable how writers rely on Gyro's ability to do magic to solve their problems. But just go with it: we can switch people's identities with this machine (this just says "personalities," but it's clearly whole identities).

Gyro's expression there is truly a something of something. I think we can all agree on that.

So we need to be absolutely clear: the idea is that Donald's mind enters Scrooge's body and vice versa. That accomplished, Donald-in-Scrooge's-body can take advantage of this switch to buy toys for the poor kids, while Scrooge-in-Donald's body goes to play in the snow. Do we all understand this? Does this make sense? No, it's not that complicated, but you'll see why I'm belaboring it soon enough.

Note that the kids extract a promise from Donald that his first act as Scrooge will be to buy presents for the poor kids. Note it!

Okay, let's do it. Go!

So this is all very confusing because the story never clarifies it or even seems to be aware that it's an issue, but the first problem is that although they've switched bodies, they're apparently not aware of what happened (and Donald-in-Scrooge's-body seemingly just forgets the whole presents thing). So they still act like themselves, basically, but in different bodies. Okay. But...

But here's the real...thing here.  Um...why are you thinking that Scrooge-in-Donald's-body would starting buying presents? Have you forgotten your own plan? If HDL were meant to be confused within the story it would be one thing, but...that doesn't seem to be the case.  Also, note that although the selling point for Scrooge was that he'd be young and thus not have his aches and pains, apparently he does anyway, with no explanation.  And Donald, in spite of being in Scrooge's body, doesn't.  This stuff could all be explained, but it's not.  It seems like Connell just somehow lost track of the premise of his own plot, resulting in this weird, defective storytelling.

In another bit of pointless confusion, we see that, while Donald was pissed off at Scrooge's ostentation, Donald-as-Scrooge is just amused and indulgent about the whole thing. That might mean something in a more coherent story. Note that the nephews never try to talk Donald-as-Scrooge into giving money; they remain fixated on the idea that Scrooge-as-Donald should do it. Beyond the obvious aspect of that which makes zero sense, if it's what you're doing, why did you even bother with this whole, baroque personality-switching thing in the first place? I really can't adequately stress how bizarre and nonsensical this whole thing is.

Yeah, so they try to get Daisy to, uh, seduce Scrooge into being generous. Ugh. I have nothing more to say about that, and thankfully I don't have to, because it's a completely discrete segment that could easily be chopped out of the story entirely, losing nothing.

Seriously, ya coulda just started with the "generous pill." Would've made things shorter, if nothing else.

Nonetheless, the pill does its job.

Yeah, let's not get carried away. We wouldn't want everyone to have a jolly Christmas. That's just excessive.

But...he didn't order all these toys; you did. Okay okay, you wouldn't expect Scrooge to make such a fine distinction. But the story never acknowledges that there's even a distinction to be made.  It's like Connell just immediately forgot about the "generous pill" thing and is under the impression that the original plan worked.  I have a very strong feeling that it never even occurred to him (who strikes me as having been a very confused individual) that there was an issue here.

Again, we see that even DONALD is apparently under the impression that he's the one who placed this order. For the love of...

I guess given the much more significant nonsense in this story, it would be superfluous to note that Connell apparently conceptualized jail as functioning like a debtor's prison. Jeesh.

Uh...what? Well, don't think too hard about it; the above two panels are the only place that this magical, long-distance hypnotism...thing is even mentioned.  Is it supposed to be...a joke?  Maybe, but it's tough to say, given that it really just looks like Connell's usual bizarre sensibilities at play.  Western did have editors, as we know from the fact that they censored various Barks stories, but apparently that was their only job; doing something about insane nonsense like this would've been too much to ask.

AND YET--IN SPITE OF EVERYTHING--holy shit, dude, this panel. The pathos here is just unbelievable. I mean, it doesn't contribute anything to the story as a whole, which is still just gibberish, but if this were a better story--damn, man. I especially like him trying to talk to the dollar bill. If "like" is the word. It's terrifying.

SIGH. Everything's bad. Sure, it's cool that the kids across the tracks (you know...THOSE kids) are having a good time, but, you know, even that's not THAT great. Blargh.

I actually don't object to this part. It's fine. It's okay that he didn't spend the money under his own volition; he still realizes the value of charity. That mankind is his business. That the common welfare is his business; that charity, mercy, forbearance, and benevolence are, all, his business. That the dealings of his trade are but a drop of water in the comprehensive ocean of his business. Or something. If only the story had built to this in a less sanity-blasting way.

No, seriously, this stuff is fine. Just reprint the last few pages and pretend that every copy of the entire first part was lost in a fire or something, and you'll do fine.

...well, I mean, there *is* this fairly dopey bit at the end where they wonder whether he's crying tears of joy, or tears of bitter sorrow because of being out a thousand dollars. That's not so great. But comparatively, it's FINE.

I would like to tediously point out that this convenient happenstance shouldn't work. Scrooge isn't just sad at being out a thousand bucks; he's sad about being out THAT thousand bucks. What's a thousand dollars to him when he makes billions a day? Nothing; it's just the principle of the thing. Still, better authors than Connell (...are there any worse ones? No, seriously, can you name a worse Disney writer than Connell?) have done similar things, so in the spirit of good will towards all man, we'll let it go. The last panel, again, is good. I'll just be repeating myself if I lament that it just needed a more sensical build-up, so you can take that as read.