"The People Collector"

This appeared in in the next issue of WDC after the one with "Something to Quack About."  It's another Strobl/Gregory thing.  Take that for what you will

This premise at least is actually pretty interesting.  So...how big do we think Duckburg IS, anyway?  I think we probably think it's pretty big.  I can think of a number of Italian stories where its hugeness is emphasized, and Barks generally portrayed it as something of a metropolis, though I don't think there's anything in his oeuvre that gives it a concrete population or anything.  Am I wrong about that?  Let me know in comments.

Regardless, as so many things in Duckcom are mutable, I think it's okay for the city to be so, as well.  Is it a giant-ass megalopolis?  Maybe.

But it can be a bit of a podunk, too!  That's fine!  But I do have to say (and let me preface this by noting that I was REALLY into maps and atlases when I was small): I'm pretty sure a city is only going to be designated with a star if it's a capital, regardless of how big it is.  The dot may be bigger or smaller in a way that reflects size, but I don't think the star thing is negotiable.  I think we all probably assumed without thinking about it that Duckburg was naturally the capital of Calisota, but if not...I dunno, man.  Regardless of anything else, though, I refuse to believe that Duckburg is smaller than Goosetown and Fowlville.  Can't do it.  Also, Duckburg seems remarkably unambitious if their little counter maxes out at 99999.

I'll also say: it may indeed be true that some towns, in some circumstances, have something like "welcome wagons," but cities get big because people want or need to move there.  If they're just coming because you're bribing them, I think you've really set yourself up to lose.  Does that happen here?  We will see!  Although...if you know anything about these things, you've probably guessed that the answer is going to be something like "undetermined, because the story never really addresses the question in a useful way."

Letting local merchants promote their goods does seem like the part of this that's most likely to be effective.  I mean, at accomplishing anything.  I don't know that this one-time love bomb is really going to be enough to change the whole town's reputation, which currently is extremely hostile to outsiders.  Maybe.  And if it's not doing that, the whole "attract new people" thing seems futile.  You're only catering to people who, for whatever reason, have already moved in.

Seriously, there seems to be some mission creep going on here.  You could've added this family to the total anyway!  The gifts don't are immaterial.

Be that as it may: in spite or because of its general goofiness and incoherence, I was quite enjoying all this local-tourism-board stuff, but we quickly segue into this much more familiar Disney comics territory, with Donald as debt collector.  But I dunno: maybe this is just my inner anarchist coming out (and you can maybe think of reasons that might be, these days), but I'm not a huge fan of Donald enforcing property rights like this.  I mean, it's something he does fairly regularly, but rarely in so self-righteous a way.

But I dunno; maybe I'm being too hard on him.  The way he goes so abruptly from gleeful satisfaction to soul-crushing ennui might suggest underlying problems.

But maybe not, dammit!  What's this business of assaulting this woman with a mouse?  I don't know exactly what crime that is, but it seems like it's GOTTA be worse than stealing six defective pillowcases.  And seriously, the story brings this thing up here--why should I pay for a defective thing--and then doesn't address it in any way.  It's just "fuck you; pay me."  She should sue him.  Or his employer.  In my opinion.

But let's get back to basics here: this story doesn't even address the question of how exactly these people GOT these items without paying.  Did their checks bounce?  You might assume it would be something like buying a car on installment, where you don't pay upfront; just a little every month.  But the things that people are buying here are so penny-ante that that doesn't seem like it would be possible.  Hmph.  Very suspicious.

Does a plunger rattling around on a door sound like an earthquake?  Do you think Gregory did a test to make sure his story was accurate?  We may never know.

Zero guesses as to where this is going.  Seriously.  You don't get to make a guess.  Sorry if that seems unfair, but not THAT sorry.  Can I note that this is quite a weird-looking version of the pig mayor?  Also, look how sinister he is in the middle-left there.  What's his game?

It's the most predictable thing ever, but I have to admit, I do find Donald fucking up the welcome wagon thing modestly funny.

Ha ha!  What a terrible city Duckburg is!

Banana Man DOES have a valid question, I feel.  And is this attempted murder on Donald's part, or what?

See?  Eighty-five cents.  How did he walk out with an eighty-five cent pickle slicer without paying for it?  Is this just shoplifting?  I'm also extremely pro-shoplifting, fyi.

But what's REALLY hair-raising is this ending, where a whole bunch of insane law-and-order fascists flood Duckburg.  Is getting a dumb little star on a map worth that?  IS it?  Well, the mayor is probably essentially amoral, so he probably thinks so, but YEESH.

...and yet, in spite of being super-excited about these collections, they still hate the collector.  A prophet without honor.  Shouldn't at least the newcomers like him?  Are there now two radically opposed factions in Duckburg?  These are questions.  Look forward to the sequel!

I dunno; that was kind of dumb, but it coulda been worse.  And now, as is our wont, some back-issue material.

YES!  Got some awesome Phil DeLara art right here!  You can really feel that wallop.

This, naturally, is a very silly story, and also naturally, it was written by a John Bircher, but ya gotta love it.  Well, maybe "love" is too strong a word.  But it is quite fun.

BIFF!  Well, maybe some of the art is a bit goofy, but that's part of the charm.

Seriously, this is great.  I don't really have much in the way of commentary, but the bear's remorse at having beheaded Gyro is *chef's kiss.*

El oh el.  Are oh eff ell em eff eh oh.

But!  There is ironic comeuppance to have!  Is it ironic?  And does Gyro need comeuppance here?  Well, he's gonna get it.

So the robot takes over Gyro's life, and he's left to rot away in prison.  That got surprisingly dark, and a little Twilight-Zone-y.  Still, I'm cool with it.

So that's all we're going to cover in this issue.  There's also a Scrooge-vs-Beagles story, but it's SO uninteresting that it's hard for me to imagine anyone could possibly find it interesting.  Here's the story: city officials declare that the Money Bin is an eyesore and must be removed.  Gyro invents a shrinking spray, and the officials are satisfied.  But oh no, the Beagle steal it.  So Gyro sprays it with expanding spray and they have to run way lest they be squashed.  And...okay, fine, here's the ending:

I guess that's a little goofily amusing.  Just don't ask what's gonna stop the Beagles now.

And yeah, of course there's the second installment of that Murry serial, but...come on.  I didn't even bother reading this one.