"The Last Voyage of Ringtail Van Dukke"

Okay! Time to talk about a fellow you may know called Ringtail! Or, you may not. But you probably do! What am I even saying? I don't know. I'm starting here because, let's face it, it's easy. Here's an easily-accessible story that I've read a few times before and is also kind of short. This had actually been on my radar to write about for some time, but obviously, I never did. Was that because I couldn't really come up with enough worthwhile to say about it? Well, we'll do our best here and now.

Well, you know. Here's how it starts. The most important thing to note off the bat is that, while this is drawn by Ben Verhagen, it's a Ben Verhagen who had learned how not to make his ducklings look cross-eyed all the time, thankfully. So we can enjoy the good aspects of his art while not having to deal with the worst. Hurrah!

The "omg the money bin is low" thing may not excite you, but the idea that there's an old door to an old room down there is pretty interesting, even if it seems kind of pointless to just stick records down there, as opposed to something REALLY special. But: you DID TOO know there were pirates in the family! "Back to Long Ago!" "Night of the Saracen!" Others that I'm forgetting! Come on, man!

We can probably all agree: the past stuff here is the best part of the story. And not just because of the awesome art, although it is pretty awesome, as you can see from that ship on the bottom right. A lot of this stuff reminds me of the best of Rota, which is definitely saying something.

I also just like how blatantly murderous these pirates are. It's "just" a Disney comic, so it's the sort of thing that one might perceive as less violent than it actually is, but man, Ringtail & Co kill a LOT of people. Go on, then, tell me how that guy walking the plank is not imminently dead. The fact that he has a look of goofy, cartoonish fear does not obviate this. I don't know; it's just fun to see a Disney comic really cut loose every now and then. All due credit to writer Evert Geradts, but probably even more so to Verhagen. It's easy to imagine how this could have significantly less impact in the hands of a less gung-ho artist.

And on that note, clearly, the murdernephews are the best thing here. I feel like it's something that under other circumstances I might complain about--them being so totally egregiously out-of-character as they are--but I can't not love it. They are somehow lovable in their bloodthirstiness. What do you think their body count is? Certainly not trivial, I would say. But racked up with such joie de vivre.

You know, this points to a serious issue of ex-cons unable to find legitimate work, causing the recidivism rate to skyrocket. Though I will say, maybe it would've been a good idea to not wear your pirate costumes to job interviews? That's a useful tip for jobseekers everywhere.

Just re Ringtail's pegleg, here's an interesting thing I read about peglegs--I don't know if it's true, but it certainly sounds logical: why do you think they're associated with sailors and pirates as opposed to soldiers or highwaymen or any land-dwellers? It's because with the preponderance of saltwater to disinfect wounds, the seafarers would be much less likely to die of infections upon amputation. So there you go.

I will definitely talk more about this later, but this "I WILL NEVER REST UNTIL I RESTORE YOUR MONEY" stuff reeeeaally rubs me the wrong way. The story certainly isn't flawless.

Anyway. Beagle pirates. The usual thing. Though granted, as Beagles go, they seem fairly chill.

And I do love the fact that the murdernephews are so keen to torture them. The idea that, sure, they'll be able to overpower the Beagles, why not, is not something you see often, or really ever, but I don't think they're wrong. And, indeed...

Seriously, I love how obvious it is that the Beagles are taking the worst of this. Thump! Biff! Whack!

So...AS I WAS SAYING. It's cool to be a cursed pirate damned to eternally sail the seven seas?  That, I approve of.  Try it, kids!  The idea of being thus cursed because you're obsessed with the idea that you have to be in servitude to some rich fucker? Sorry, Ringtail. Lamest Cursed Pirate Ever.

What happens to the murdernephews? I certainly hope they're not forced to adopt a lifestyle which doesn't allow them to engage in their one true passion, murder. That would just be brutal.

Anyway, that was just the first part of the story, and the shorter one. We go into the present, and I'm sorry to say that I find this part significantly less interesting. I mean, I like to see them having fun here, sure, but...

And, I mean, obviously the art is strong throughout.

Well...did I say "throughout?" Mostly throughout. I feel ungracious complaining after Verhagen took the trouble to get the eyes basically right, but those lamprey-like mouths? Not a good look for anyone.

So I almost don't want to talk about this, given how uninteresting I find it, but there's this whole sitcom-y thing where Donald switches back and forth between being himself and Ringtail upon being bashed on the head. Granted, some of the piratey dialogue is nice (all credit to Dwight Decker), but for the most part...eh.

Somehow, this part where they end up on a cruise ship and everyone thinks they're part of the entertainment just feels so boilerplate to me. Maybe it just comes of reading too many of these stories, but I was just intensely bored by the whole episode.

Okay okay, except for Suspicious Steward here.  He is suspicious.

VERY, VERY SUSPICIOUS.

I know I've beaten this drum a lot, but really, even when the plot isn't super engaging, it really is nice to look at. Another similarity with certain Rota stories.

Just presenting this image because it's nice to look at. That is all.

I mean...just in case you were worried that Scrooge wouldn't get more money for no reason...here you are.

Boilerplate Beagle thing, &c.

Does the logic here work? Not even slightly. We very clearly see him switching between Donald and Ringtail with no absences. The idea that Donald was actually absent and unconscious the whole time Ringtail was around...nope. Not havin' it. Nice try. Not that nice. Whatever.

I like that skeleton, he noted irrelevantly. Anyway, the end. I know it seems kind of abrupt, but that's the end of the story. Honestly, I like it, but what I really like is most of the flashback section and the art. The rest of it is pretty middling. However, it's a testament to how good the good stuff is that that's really what tends to stick in one's mind when one thinks of it.