"Much Ado About Quackly Hall"

 I'm really preoccupied by that after-the-fact title.  "It's because there's a Shakespeare play called 'Much Ado About Nothing,' only this story is about Quackly Hall," you might attempt to helpfully explain.  But I find that explanation to be A) self-evident; and B) not really an explanation.  We could do this with any story, I think.  "Much Ado About Cheltenham."   "Much Ado About Wispy Willy."  "Much Ado About Canoes."  Okay, that one's kind of good.

Anyway, Some more Barks this week; why not?  I know you'd probably like me to do some adventure stories, and I will one of these weeks, for sure, or two, but I dunno...maybe I just feel like these ten-pagers, reflecting as they do the regular ebb and flow of life in Duckburg, are ultimately more...revealing?  Maybe?  Does that make sense?

I again chose this one more or less randomly, although I have to admit, it IS from the same general period as these stories I've been writing about, so that may be in doubt.  Like that "canoes" story, I don't think it's massively distinguished as Barks stories go, but there are, perhaps a few things to say about.  We can give it a try, at any rate.

But if there's one thing that IS massively distinguished, it's the art.  LOOK at that mansion!  God, the gorgeous decay!  Like something from a Faulkner novel, only better, because Donald Duck is there.  I don't want this place refurbished; I want to just wallow in it.  Mmm!  Any other Western artist would probably have drawn it in such a way that I would have no substantial reaction at all.  And the writing ain't too bad either!

Surely someone somewhere has made a list of all the weird, abandoned edifices in Barks stories, like this and the Cathedral of Notre Duck and Pirate Inn?  The place really does feel lived in!  It's juuuuuuust ducky.  Haha!

So it's set up as a Donald-vs-Nephews thing.  But one thing to note is that Donald is completely unaware that HDL are involved.  He doesn't see them until the ninth page, and even when he does he remains oblivious that they had been responsible for the story's hijinx.  That's unusual, isn't it?  Are there any other instances of that happening in Barksdom?

It took me some time to realize that the dialogue in the upper panels rhymes.  It scans well enough, but it's still a bit weird.  I just stumble over "millions of years"--I get, I think, that that's just supposed to mean "forever," but it still sounds odd to me.  So you ruled during, like, the Ordovician Period, maybe?  See any trilobites?  Or maybe it's just millions of years into the future, in a Warhammer 40K kind of way, and what am I even DOING here?

Also, is that one nephew meant to be wearing a Jughead hat, or is it a more explicit crown?  Because, like, he's a pirate king?

So anyway, I'm afraid I'm not going to have a lot to say about this stuff, because it follows a very basic formula: the kids do something to sabotage the viewing, and the guy either doesn't mind or actively likes it.  Still, at least we have SPLOK!

In every dream home a nightmare.  Yes, I posted this panel purely so I could say the name of a Joe Jackson song that I like.  The Roxy Music song "In Every Dream Home a Heartache" is better-known though, I think.

I want this part to be noted, as it will be relevant later.  Fucker wants our frog pond!  WTF?!?

There's an ABBA song called "The King Has Lost His Crown," but I'm not going to bother linking to it.  Yeah, the main reason it's fallen off is clearly so that it won't interfere with the speech bubble, but also--symbolism!  Maybe.

You know...I just feel like if some kids come to your prop lot and say something insane to you, like "here's our lifetime savings!  Can we rent your wind machine for half an hour?" you really should feel some obligation to, I dunno, vet the situation in some way.  Is everything all right at home?  Also, regardless, taking their money is going to make you feel like a reeeeeeal dick.

And now, the punchline.  This would actually be kind of funny if Donald were intentionally fucking with them, but he is doing no such thing.

So, the story kind of has to end like this.  What else is going to happen?  Their hideout is made into an office building by evil industrialists and that's that?  You're not going to see anything that unpleasant in Barks outside a few seventies Woodchuck scripts.  

And yet...is this what we want?  Earlier, they were pissed off that the guy was going to ruin the frog pond.  And even if it mostly wasn't explicit, you sure got the impression that they liked the rundown, haunted-manse feel of the place.  But now it's cool because it's putatively For Kids?  Not so worried about the frogs when you know that swimming pool is meant for YOU, are you?  For shame!  Granted: you can't really imagine a story where their response is "no, sorry, those improvements sound great and all, but we really prefer it as it is."  That's just...I mean, the whole story would have to be reworked from the ground up for that to fly.

In fairness, these ARE kids we're talking about.  Kids are easily distracted and changeable.  But these are not just any kids, and this kinda feels as uncharacteristic as Barks ever depicted them.  Well, it's life's rich pageant, I suppose.