"Mickey's Inferno"

Everything I ever do I do for you, but sometimes, that's not as easy as one might hope. I actually had wanted to write about this story for a long time, but man alive. It's a dense text to get through, and I realize that that's kind of a weird thing to say about a Disney comic, but it's true nonetheless. Still, I finally got through it--for what really must be only the second time--and now...here it is.

This is interesting for many reasons. Published in 1949, it's a very early Italian story--one of the earliest, in fact. There were those Pedrocchi stories, of course, but they were sort of different--they don't feel like they're really part of the same evolutionary path as Italian Disney comics as we know them today. And aside from those...well, the first installment of "Mickey's Inferno" appeared in Topolino 7. Most of the previous issues had been taken up with Western reprints; Guido Martina had written two or three stories prior to this, but I think this might well have been only the fourth or fifth Italian story proper. This means, naturally, that (again, apart from Pedrocchi) it's the earliest Italian story to see print in the US.

It's also the beginning of that fascinating (to me, anyway) form, the Italian Disney story based on a work of literature, and the fact that this started with Dante is highly appropriate: Italians taking a quintessentially American form and making it their own. Well done, fellas.

Nice art from Angelo Bioletto, a newcomer to this blog.

What makes reading this a bit slow going is, naturally, the poetic (well...rhyming) narration. This localization is certainly impressive in that it follows the original's terza rima (sets of three lines with an ABA, BCB, CDC etc rhyme scheme), though it doesn't even make a passing effort to give it any kind of consistent scansion (I've no idea what Martina's script did in this regard) (and honestly, I'm not entirely sure how it worked in Dante himself; all I can say is how it works in this English rendering). This admittedly would've been a hell of a task, but as it stands, I find it amusing in places but more functional than anything else. Nobody would read this for its poetic sublimity.

Obviously, it's pointless to even try to think about, like, the theology of this or anything. You must accept it as it is! Yeah, it's goofy! That's the point! It's an exercise in futility to ponder what underpinnings it may have! But really, what fun is that? Expect to see an awful lot of it as this entry progresses.

I find the preamble a bit dull; things perk up a bit when we get to actual souls being tortured. So! Let's start here! This story, you will see, has a massive hate-on for teachers. For whatever reason. Well, for a fairly obvious reason: because the story's aimed at kids, and kids hate their teachers. Or so Martina perceived. There are several of these "actually, most teachers are great, but..." bits. I don't know if those are Martina originals or if they're just there in translation in order to make the story seem a bit less savage.

Also, I don't care what you say, I feel like eternal damnation is an excessive price to pay for boring some eight-year-olds. We also have that "the tricks they play don't kill me, so who gives two hoots?" which basic sentiment recurs several times throughout, and I just have to say: well...no, it doesn't kill you. Because you're already dead. That's why you're in Hell. Of course it doesn't "kill" you; you just have to suffer it until the Final Judgment. Have you lost track of the concept here?

Then, there are parts of this that are just confusing. Why is Homer here? Undetermined. I suppose Julius Caesar probably would be, but again, there's no in-text justification. And all this stuff about philosophers...it's supposed to be funny, presumably, but it's just...what? Why? Where am I? Who am I?

I merely include this image by way of noting that this can become edifyingly gruesome at times. I suppose everyone already knows that that Gemstone was somehow able to get this into WDC 666? I continue to find that highly awesome, even if that sort of numerology doesn't have anything to do with Dante.

Hey, look who's here. One thing you notice is that this story really does shove everyone who was anyone in 1949 into the story, as well as a few who really weren't, which is a cool thing that I appreciate. Well, everyone except Bucky Bug. I don't think he had much presence in Italy at the time.  OH WELL!

Did I say "appreciate?" Er...well. Look, I know we don't like to think about these things, but can we possibly admit that, regardless of anyone's intention, Eli Squinch has something of the anti-Semitic caricature about him under the best of circumstances, and that having him burning in Hell in a pile of money kind of makes that seem a whole lot more egregious? I'm not saying; I'm just saying. Actually...scratch that. I am saying. Yeesh.

Oh look, another teacher, 'cause FUCK TEACHERS.

See, his students have all grown up and died and likewise gone to Hell where they can torment him eternally, until it turns out he's just a robot. Wait, what?

The Inducks entry claims of this localization that there's "one scene removed." I'd love to know what that refers to; I always speculated that it was here, because it says we skipped a canto, and there's, gawd, Little Hiawatha's father whose name I absolutely refuse to look up for no apparent reason, doing absolutely nothing. It just feels like we missed some context, and you can see why there might have been an interest in snipping out this particular hypothetical segment. Then again, said inducks entry also doesn't list Hiawatha appearing here at all, so you got me.

We see Donald in three or four different contexts here, 'cause two was not enough. That's cool. I'm just posting this 'cause it's kind of creepy and neat.

OH BOY, it's Cousin Bertie! Who could forget this guy? Well, almost everyone, probably. Western's effort to make him a regular character was just bizarrely abortive: two stories in in fall of 1943, and that was it. Their hearts were clearly not in it. One of those stories subsequently appeared in Italy in 1948, explaining his presence here. I'm afraid this did not help to raise his overall profile, however.

My question: are these in fact children who died? This could get awfully macabre if you spent too long thinking about it, as I do. Maybe they were adults who were reduced to childhood for their punishment, but that doesn't seem to be the case, as we'll see. Again, a pretty grim situation. Still, we see that it's not just teachers; there's also payback for those damn students we all hate so much. What?

So this is, like, the Harrowing of Hell, Disney-style? Cool, cool. I'm down with that. But you have to wonder: how is the Blue Fairy's rationale not complete nonsense? What do you mean they "repented?" Sure, they were sad because they were being punished, but I think anyone would "repent" in that sense. And "a truly good deed?" Bah! It's not that I think eternal damnation is a good concept, but the alternative here just seems to be nonsense.

You know, as one of those hated teachers myself, I have to say: I kind of agree with Honest John. Let's be anarchists! We don't need no education; we don't need to thought control! Especially given that the alternative is Jiminy Cricket's nauseating bromides. "The most fun of all," I ASK YOU (or is he suggesting that "the most fun of all" is being able to look down from Heaven and watch the sinners being tortured?  That, I'll admit, would make this significantly more interesting). Well, if he's as worthless a "conscience" here as he was in the movie, these kids are all ultimately going to be eternally damned anyway, so I guess it's okay.

Notice also that, as in the great "Donald Fracas," Martina has given the emphatically mute Gideon dialogue. Well done, Guido!

I mean...this teacher stuff is truly excessive. As I've said, I don't object to this in theory, but I feel as though Martina's hatred of the profession at this point is significantly outdoing that of his probable audience.

So we get the idea that this Inferno isn't permanent; people get out of it after a time. Only, the thing is, as everyone including Martina no doubt knows, there's a whole 'nuther part of the poem devoted to that premise. If you want to write "Mickey's Purgatorio," that's a whole 'nother thing. I actually remember liking the second part more than the first; it was very trippy and less mean-spirited. But your mileage will no doubt vary.

I don't want to spend much time on this Three Little Pigs bit because my feelings re these characters are well-known. I do appreciate the gruesomeness here, however.

I want to show this because it's cool, and also to acknowledge the inevitable "Duck in the Iron Pants" reference, probably more apposite here than it's ever been. Well done, all!

Somewhat bizarrely, this bottom layer of Hell is devoted to people cheating at sports. Is this just an Italian fixation? Whatevz. I'm disappointed and a little surprised that we don't get to see Chernabog from "Night on Bald Mountain;" that would've been appropriate and cool.

Well, anyway, it ends abruptly. I've skipped over a lot because, well, there's a lot here, it gets a bit dull in places, and it's not like this is all part of any kind of intricate overall plot. Still, I'll admit that in rereading it and writing about, I have started to appreciate the story a bit more than I had in the past. And it's nothing if not historically significant.

***

Okay okay, because I know you demand it, yes, this was republished in the US ten years later with a different translation. So how is it different? Well, I haven't read the whole thing, but I was able to find this promotional giveaway that contains an excerpt floating around the internet. I think that's enough to get a fair idea of what it's about. Let's compare:

vs.

As you can see, it has the original three-tier layout, as opposed to the compacted four-tier version. So I kind of like that. It maintains the rhyme scheme, but again, doesn't scan in any way.

I mean, it's not unspeakably bad or anything. It'll do in the absence of any alternative. But it's not, to my mind, particularly good either. So many things to say about this one page:

-Compare: "No lights or reflectors on that thing? That's a ten-dollar fine!" vs "Your bike has a missing reflector! That's against the law, so I'm giving you a ticket! That's ten dollars!" Second one's pretty leaden, isn't it? This script isn't by Erin Brady...but it sure feels like it could be.

-I suppose you may appreciate that Zootopia reference and not find it painfully awkward, but...well, isn't it great how different people have different sensibilities?

-That whole "then we can move if it's true?" bit is just a failed attempt at sounding clever or natural or anything.

-Goofy does not normally style "I" as "ah." This looks to have been written by someone who wasn't familiar with the character's idiolect, at least in English. At least, that's what I want to say. And yet...per inducks, this was "adapted" by Stefan Petrucha, who as far as I know is a native English-speaker and who has written numerous Disney stories himself. So...I'm just going to assume that he was given limited latitude in the adaptation process. Or--to be scrupulously fair--we could suggest that possibly said adaptation wasn't actually applied to this preview, but only the full version; inducks has it wrong. If neither of these are true...I am a little bit confused.

-The less said about Goofy calling the lion "dude" the better.

Okay, just one more little thing:

"OTOH?" Look, I know I've used a few internet acronyms in fan translations I've done; guilty as charged. But there, the acronym was the joke. Here, it appears to just be there to save space. Very unprofessional-looking.

Yeah, so as I say, it's not super-painful or anything, but you'd do a hell (ha ha) of a lot better to just rustle up a copy of WDC 666 if you possibly can.