"Spaced-Out Christmas"

Here's a story that I found whilst rummaging around looking for something good to write about!  It was published as part of IDW's much-lamented run.  I'd only read it once before, and hadn't been overly impressed by it, but on rereading...I actually think it's pretty good.  These things happen: I didn't much care for "Being Good for Goodness Sake" when I first read it, and now it's my favorite Italian Christmas story.  This is not on that level, but that's never stopped me.  Let's check it out.

The opening is certainly festive enough to pass muster.  That's so important.  "Spaced-out" may give you pause as to what is to come, but it's all right.  Let us look, by the by, and this inducks scan of the original printing:

Man, that is some odd coloring.  The holly leaves are barely visible, creating the impression that the berries are just floating there.  And why does the Christmas tree on the right look so discolored? This is how it looks if you leave it up 'til the end of January.  I dunno, man.  Why not color your story to best advantage?

That's the problem with getting Disney characters presents, innit?  There aren't really many things they're associated with, or specific interests.  The kids like toys (or medals, if they're in Woodchuck Mode), but it never gets any more idiosyncratic than that; Scrooge likes money or else expensive things, Donald...well, he has a car.  I'm not sure if we'd use the word "like."  Anyway.

I like seeing HDL just hanging out thinking about stuff.  That's the kind of slice-of-life material that I am there for.  No further comment.

So yes, this part, which is a little dubious.  The problem is, Donald is describing his nightmare day in these over-the-top, horrific terms...and yet the reality, while not exactly FUN, also isn't anything that you would call that unusual or special for him.  You need something really over-the-top if you want to sell him being like this, and the dialogue has something of a protests-too-much tone.

However, I do like the film-strip style, just for what it is.  Why did Scrooge have a Ming vase?  Well, he must've found it as part of some Far-Eastern adventure.  Did real Ming vases have "Ming" written on them in Roman characters?  We may never know.

I don't...think you're allowed to just enslave people because they broke your shit?  IANAL.  This is the part of the story that sort of seems like it's shading over into "mean," albeit (of course) a lot less severely than the Guido Martina stories of yore.  This isn't of yore (unless yore is more recent than I thought); it was first published in 1985.  The Scarpa art gives it a classic feel, but it was written by this Massimo Marconi fella.  He's made a few other US appearances, but nothing that really stands out.

I mean...yeah, okay.  You missed your bus and were late for your date.  As I've said, it just doesn't seem all that remarkable, as these things go.  Ya gotta be more resilient than this, Donald.

I'm actually not convinced the evidence will show you've had any holidays like that, really.  Well, I guess "The Duke of Baloni" might come close, but given all your financial vicissitudes, the holidays have generally gone pretty darned well for you, really.  Don't be a drama queen.

The story does pretty well in terms of letting us know that something's going on without tipping its hand.  Or so I think.  It works well in that regard.

I mean, given where the story goes, this part ultimately isn't as obnoxious as it seems, but I do have to ask: is it really okay to torture a guy like this just because you have something nice for him coming up?  That is not the sort of question you expect to see addressed in places like this.

But by all means let's hear it for some hella-gorgeous art.  Scarpa was perhaps the most weirdly inconsistent creator in the annals of Disney history, but when he was on he was on as heck.

Mmm.  Well.  We probably could have divined from the title that something like this was coming.  The thing about Disney stories is, there are different levels of reality; they aren't usually made explicit, but you get a sense just by reading.  And what level a story is operating on is going to govern how willing you'll be to accept the existence of aliens (never mind about whether these are actual aliens--it's just the fact that we're meant to believe that they plausibly could be).  And when these different levels clash, it can feel pretty darned weird.  This is definitely the first thing that turned me off the story.  I mean, it's okay now; I can roll with it.  But still...hmm, I say.  Hmm!

Well, obviously a UFO means aliens, but this very strongly turned me off of the story the first time, and honestly, even knowing what the purpose of this is, and that the story wouldn't very well exist without it, I still don't overly care for it.

And yet, I do like this image of the Earth explodifying, just for itself.  Boom!

And I'm not sure how rhetorically convincing an alien would find this montage, but I really do like it.  Christmasy!

But this is the part where I REALLY check out.  Don't include videogames in your stories, guys!  I realize that my saying that probably isn't based on much besides a bias for the time when Golden Age Disney stories were produced, but still, I do think there's a strong "how do you do fellow kids" element to them which makes me roll my eyes a bit.  A big bit.  Still, if I consider that this was 1985, I can at least imagine that it's kind of a retrogame, which I find a little more tolerable.  I don't recall ever having claimed to be rational.

Nope.  Can't deal with "you're talking to the master!"  Nuh uh.  Do not want.

Okay.  Yes.  Well.  Ahem.

And you might accuse me of being impossible to please, because as much as I was complaining about the presence of aliens, I don't care for this, either.  Well, at least it's...nice.  Preparatory for a good ending.

"As you know, Bob..."  Well, it does give us the chance to see Scrooge being generous.  Almost makes me not want to muse on the fact that if he was willing to throw hundreds of thousands of dollars around, he could easily have found a more practical avenue to improve his nephews's lives in a much more concrete, lasting way.  One might almost think that he prefers this flashy stuff because it lets him make a loud and impractical bang.  Always about YOU, Scrooge, innit?

I don't know why I'm being mean like that.  I don't think you have to read the story like that at all (although I do think it's the logical conclusion), especially in the spirit of the season.  I just sometimes see a lead like that and can't resist following it up.

And anyway, you can't argue with the results?  A surprise Christmas party!  Who doesn't want that?

Happy Christmas!

Oh, wait.  I like the way he shoves aside the "End" blocks, and I like the double ending.  You get one satisfying conclusion and then, bam, another one.  Adroitly done, I think.

I mean, you might've suspected that something was off just based on the fact that the aliens had an obvious joke name.  Possibly.  Still, I'm not one entirely sure that my first thought on hearing them say my name would be "they must be my relatives in disguise!"  As opposed to, you know, I must have just forgotten I mentioned it.  It's not like he can page back through the story to see if ever comes up.  And even if you definitively determine that you didn't, the only reason you leap immediately to "it must just be my family" is because, given the nature of the story, there are so few other possibilities.

Well, maybe hearing his name just made him realize, wait, none of this is very plausible.  Maybe, but I don't know; he doesn't seem to be dismissing the possibility that it could have been aliens.

But, of course, all that is neither here nor there.  What IS here--and possibly there as well--is that there's a pretty darned big something-missing here: where the heck is Daisy?  Her absence creates the impression--I'm sure not intended by Marconi--that she really is pissed off at Donald, and this is her holding a grudge.  Unfortunate, as it adds a bit of a black spot to an otherwise solid ending.

Oh well!  Happy Holidays anyway!