Twice Upon a Christmas: The Ad

Consider this a Saint Stephen's Day celebration: Just as a brief pendant to the Twice Upon a Christmas post, I thought it might be a tiny bit interesting for me to present the ad for the book that ran in Christmas Parade 2 and probably in other issues:

Is this interesting?  Not very!  But for no particular reason, I want to call attention to a few parts in the  copy.  "This book is an adaptation of the direct to DVD feature Mickey's first foray into CGI animation (without Pixar).  So, is that second part ("Disney's first foray...") supposed to be a stand-alone thing?  Like, this is one of its features?  That's a normal way to write copy, but it would be pretty awkward when there are two complete sentences before it.  Bad parallel structure.  Also, I am haunted by that "(without Pixar)."  It's not that it's wrong, exactly, but the sentence would mean the exact same dang thing if it were gone, and it wouldn't read nearly so awkwardly.

But, of course, the big one is the last: "With the cherubic Mickey as narrator; Minnie and Daisy; Donald; the Nephews and Scrooge; and Goofy and Max are five enchanting holiday epics that will make you glow with Christmas spirit!"  MAN, that is one ungainly-ass sentence.  Note that I'm PRETTY sure that that first semi-colon is a semi-colon; it looks very close to a plain ol' colon, even squinting hard at the page of the actual comic.  That would make it even weirder.  Who wrote this, anyway, and WHY am I going on about this nonsense?  Also, "cherubic?"  Is this hapless writer implying that they think narrator-Mickey here is, like, an angel, narrating from Heaven?  Because he super isn't.  But he sure doesn't fit any figurative use of "cherubic" either, so I don't know.

Anyway, all I'm saying is, I am willing to bet that Disney did not get the creatives at Gemstone write their ad copy for them, and if they had, the results would've been way less terrible.

Well, that''s about that.  But I also wanted to take a moment to point out that according to inducks, this story has very rarely been published overseas: in Greece and then, in part, in the Netherlands, and that's it.  So I suppose if we wanted to, we could feel smug, but that's sort of a heavy lift given the generally insipid quality of these stories.