"Christmas Album"

 So finally we get to the marquee story in this book.  It's still only eight pages, nothing huge, but it's obvious that more effort was put into it than anything else here.  Does that work out?  Well, reading it is what inspired me to write about this issue, before I'd even looked at any of the others, but beyond that...we shall see.  Western often did this in their  themed books: clearly, "Christmas Album" is the name of the issue, not the story itself, which is essentially unnamed.  It's kind of annoying: sure, I could make up a name for it, but the point of there being a title is so that if people google it they may find this blog, and that's obviously not happening if it's some all-new title.  IT IS THE BIGGEST PROBLEM IN THE WORLD AT THIS TIME.

Here's my question: are the ducks meant to be looking at these pictures as part of a seasonal celebration?  There's no framing to the story beyond these intros, so you can't really tell.  The AMJ and Gyro stories DO mention Christmas in the opening panels, but the other ones don't, and if they ARE supposed to be celebrating, you'd think they'd have tried to get photos that actually have something to do with the holiday.  I mean, really, how Christmasy is a contextless picture of Donald angrily stomping around?

"An outraged duck on the move" is a weird but funny way to characterize him.

Early, mutant Miss Quackfaster?  I must say, I find it ineffably weird the way she addresses the ducks as "fellas."  What is it, Tub?  Are those West Side Boys up to no good again?

(Yes, I know perfectly well that the Little Lulu convention is "fellers."  MUST YOU MAKE ME SPELL EVERYTHING OUT?!?)

I do generally like this story; I think its heart is in the right place, is the most important thing.  Still, I AM being a little indulgent, because I'm not sure so sure about its brain.  The way it sets up suspense, of a sort, is by people reporting on Scrooge making these cryptic pronouncements that indicate lack of holiday spirit; if the idea was that he was intentionally messing around with everyone, that would be one thing, but I sure don't get that impression.  He just seems to be acting weird in a way that makes him seem extremely clueless.

Ah yes, Eggburt the office boy, whom we knew.  A beloved character of long-standing!  But see, his account here just makes it look like Scrooge is being gratuitously dickish.  "Can I have my Christmas bonus?"  "No!  Never again!"  What's that for?  I will say though, that that seems like a remarkably generous bonus--I suppose it depends on how much you're earning, but the inflation calculator says that a hundred in 1965 dollars would be more than eight hundred today.  For an office boy--not bad, I think.

I mean SERIOUSLY, how can this not be meant as a trick on Scrooge's part?  Come now!

...okay, this is hilarious and I love it.  Intentionally funny?  Hard to say.  But whatever the case, it's a keeper.

What contest?  You know.  The breakfast cereal contest.  That one.

At any rate, Gladstone's indignation on behalf of Christmas is also a bit amusing.

HE WOT?  I know some people like to depart for cooler climes in the summer months, but isn't this a bit much? 

...I mean, shouldn't he at least have an actual, you know, house?  I'd love to see what the interior of his igloo-chateau looks like.  Was that Lockman's specification, or Trobl's improvisation?

...hmm.  This may be silly in the extreme, but it's actually not so bad, especially from the likes of Lockman.  One could, were one so inclined, read it as anti-racist: different ducks from different ethnicities are nonetheless so similar that their relatives can't even tell them apart if they don't speak.  Or, you could conclude that no thought of much of any sort went into this.  But it's a hell of a lot better than you often get!

Anyway, the "eski-duck" makes out okay.  I do have to say, this Carmen Sandiego stuff makes me roll my eyes moderately hard.  We're really meant to think we can track him down based on vague ideas about what climate he's visiting?  Humbug!

Okay!  The final confrontation!  And see?  He appears to be totally clueless about his perceived, uh, Scroogishness.  Or is he being disingenuous?  I guess you can posit that if you're in a particularly generous mood, but I think it's a reach.

Hurrah!  I mean, fine, it's a nice gesture.  Is it unsporting of me to try to unpack it?  To suggest that, his employees being working people, they're probably just going to end up selling these diamonds anyway?  And that if they want to polish them, it'll probably be pretty expensive?  And that it might have been better to just cut out the middleman and give them cash, which, fair play, would surely be more than a hundred dollars?  Yes!  It's very unsporting, so I won't do it, and just accept this in the spirit it's intended.  Okay!

So...what have we learned from this little exercise?  Very little!  We have read many stories like this before and will again!  But my eternal quest to be your one-stop shop for Disney holiday amusements continues apace.