"You Can't Guess"

And now, the climax of our Christmas series! I've never quite held this in the same regard as "Shacktown" and "Letter to Santa," but I've still always felt a great deal of affection for it. As I read it over with a critical eye for the purposes of this entry, I was actually surprised by how many issues and oddities it has, but none of them really impact my overall feelings towards it. Welp, let's go.

I just love full-page splash openings like that, and I love in particular the way it's garnished with holly. Appropriate Christmas discussion, too. That 'T' in the window REALLY looks like a 'J,' and joy is fine, too.

The duck family seems to be pretty damned well-off in this story, given that they have trouble even thinking of anything they want. This raises an issue, though: it looks as though the story's going to be about the kids' good deed in declining Christmas presents...and then it's, well, not. I mean, it's certainly unsurprising that kids would go back on this noble resolution, but it still seems sorta contrary to the spirit, and then it's just never commented on again. Huh.

Another thing (not "problem," really) about this story is that it's impossible to tell what the status of Santa is supposed to be. Is he a real person, and HDL actually blew their chances by sending him this letter, or were the gifts all going to come from Donald anyway? No way to tell. Is it just that Barks (or his editors) wanted to keep things ambiguous so as not to disillusion any little kids? Maybe!

This is also fairly intensely odd: "you should have to worry?" Um...why? It's not like there's anything previous in the story that would make sense of Donald's odd idea of how they should have to suffer to get presents. It's just...what it is.

It IS funny that they just stick "an atom bomb" in there like it's nothing. The first time I read this story I assumed that it was a trick question: that what Donald really wanted was some sort of metaphysical thing or whatnot that HDL would completely overlook. Surely others had the same reaction?

...but, of course, it's not, and this points to the really big, obvious flaw in this story: how the hell is it possible that they wouldn't guess "a car" pretty much immediately, and that even if they didn't, that it wouldn't be on this huge-ass list they've prepared? I mean, they got "motorbike," "airplane," and "motorboat," which all seem to be car-adjacent. But somehow they never even consider this possibility, and neither do any of the other relatives they consult? Seems questionable.

I like that Donald dreams of nothing but fighting. I amuse myself trying to think of what possible context there could be for him fighting someone who calls him a "fuddy-duddy." Nice snoring sound effects, too.

Blah, okay. Nobody would call the "trips to mentalists" part of the story exactly a highlight, and this in particular ain't gonna be winning any prizes. OH WELL!

Daisy in the upper-right there is being seen from kind of an unusual perspective, isn't she?

I do like everyone's resolution to buy a car. Seems the whole extended duck family has plenty of extra cash just kicking around. On the whole, I like this as kind of a "hang-out story." You can't accuse the plotting of being any great shakes, and the interactions with the relatives are a bit formulaic/repetitive, but it's just fun to watch the characters interact, all dusted with a healthy dose of festive cheer. Hurray!

Scrooge the great businessman: note that he's freaked the hell out by the possibility of having to buy a building set, but--through no pressure but that of his own mind--he ends up buying three of them, plus a car for Donald. Score! Well, I like to think that it's at least partially the result of buried generosity. It's Christmas, so I want to think the best of everyone. That is all.

...okay okay, I may have criticized these segments, but "I can only make people think they're chickens" is pretty funny. Although, as whenever this happens in early Barks stories, I could do without the nephews on the ground sobbing like that. I do, however, like that there's a mouse poking its head out for no particular reason.

And, I like the Gladstone bits. Even if he's just being generous to get one over on Donald, it's still nice to see him helping out. Similar to his role in "Shacktown."

I mean, again, going back to one's ability or not to guess, see how even when he goes "OH HOW I WANT A NEW CAR!" it still takes them some time to come up with the notion that maybe possibly that's Donald's elusive mystery gift? Yeesh, guys. So much for that Junior Woodchuck resourcefulness.

And MY GOLLY, isn't that a sweet sentiment of Donald's in the second panel there? Are we feeling festive yet?

In addition to whatever else, Gladstone's putting-on-airs expression is pretty damned hilarious, for my money. What do you suppose "the really expensive items" are?

Yes! Love that image of Duckburg, and the Christmas-morning feel this whole thing evokes.

Even though you know what's coming, it's still fun and funny.

So let's talk about Donald's gift cars for a moment. As you can see, they're all themed in accordance with the person who bought them...except possibly Scrooge's, which seems to be some sort of dune buggy. Possibly because he wants to be able to make Donald chauffeur him around to potentially profitably archaeological sites and whatnot. But in particular, let's have a look at Daisy's gift car. Now, I personally do not believe in compelling people to perform narrowly-defined gender roles. If a man wants to drive around in a pink car with frills on the side, that's fine by me. But...do you really think that 1950 Daisy feels that way? And please note that her stated reason for buying him a new car was that he'd have one that "she [wouldn't] be ashamed to ride in." She really wants to be driven around by her boyfriend in a (let's face it) kind of goofy-looking "girly" car? Seems questionable. Very questionable.

Yay! The Merriest Christmas Ever! "We have plans." Sounds ominous.

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How do you think that thing runs? Do the building kits really include, like, engine parts/power supplies? Well, never mind. It's a crisp and clear Christmas day, filled with potential and giant robots. What more could you ask for?